Lately, I haven’t been able to write.
First, there’s the lack of time. Then my lack of energy these days. You know, motherhood, life, and all the rest. 🙂
But the real reason is that I have been genuinely thinking about what I have the right to write about.
When I started this blog, I dove in blindly. I wasn’t tech savvy. I didn’t have a decent camera. I was also very sick.
And lost. Hurting. Scared. You name it. So I just started writing. Mainly, I was desperate to find hope again.
It sounds selfish when I think about it now, because this journey has taught me, it’s not only about me.
I know every time I send my words out, even if it is only seen by a few, they are still my words… and they can still impact. I mean, even a pebble makes a ripple in the water, right?
And so our words need to line up with our life.
I’ve always known from the start, this little blog wasn’t going to have mass appeal. I still have an identity crisis ’til this very day. Am I a mommy blog? A blog about chronic illness, wellnesss? A faith blog? Why would a mommy want to read about a chronic illness? Why would a chronic illness sufferer care about motherhood? So it goes… I’m still unclear, my friends.
But God has taken my little and blessed me – not because I have thousands of followers, but because of the thousand things He’s doing in my heart through this.
Ever since I began writing in this blog, I check my life more. I check my heart, my motivations. If I am going to pour out thoughts on humility, trusting God, and loving others… I know I have to be living those very words I write. If I am going to remind you to be courageous, then I want to hold tightly to that at 2am when I am feeling overwhelmed by life.
And when I miss the mark and am in desperate need of God’s grace, I feel the need to say that to you, too.
So lately, before I press publish, I sit there and take a deep breath… because like many of you, I just want to be real about this. I don’t want to inspire you with just inspiring thoughts. I want it so that if you were a fly on the wall in my home, on a frazzled Monday morning in the face of spilled milk and burnt toast, you’d see the same heart and soul in my real life as you do in my writing.
It’s hard. It’s humbling. But you know what encourages me?
Some of you write the most heartfelt blogs, ever. I come away from some of your posts, and it’s so clear that you are living what you are writing. You are writing to be faithful. Your love for the reader is evident. You are the real deal.
Because in this world, there is this pressure to have mass appeal, to be liked, to be validated, to go “viral” if you will.
But the truth is, outward validation can only go so far, numbers don’t always tell the whole story. And we will come up so empty when we chase those things alone.
So I encourage you (and preaching it all back to myself), in whatever you do, to do it faithfully… genuinely. Even if your platform is small. Even if you feel like a pebble. Say what you mean; mean what you say. Speak from conviction. Be who you are, tell your story.
* While I have a lot of favorite blogs, I want to share with you a few blogs written specifically by people living with chronic illnesses. I have been truly inspired by their words and their lives. Please check out: Unshakeable Hope, Kim’s Blog , Life in Slow Motion, Sarcoidosis Soldier.